Yesterday, we did jokes, today I felt we'd do quotes, hope you love them. Enjoy
Perhaps the only type of quote better than a wise quote is a quote that,
while conveying some universal truth, is also witty. If you’re in need of a
good laugh — and really, who isn't? — then check out our list of the top 100
funny quotes of all-time. Funny quotes are also good for making other people
laugh; posting one of these quotes on Facebook or Twitter is sure to elicit
many chuckles from your friends and followers. There’s a funny quote here for
everybody: this list has everything from ironic statements and macabre jokes to
bathroom humor. Also included are interpretations, which attempt to explain
just what makes each quote so darn funny– the interpretations also come in
handy for that one clueless person who always says, “I don’t get it” in
response to your hilarious joke. (Don’t worry, this list has funny quotes about
those types of people as well.)
1
When I die, I
want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and
screaming like the passengers in his car.- BOB MONKHOUSE
Interpretation: This joke is a play on the cliche of
wanting to die peacefully in your sleep. This familiar statement takes an
unexpected twist when we learn that grandpa was, in fact, driving a car full of
passengers when he died “peacefully in his sleep.” As a result, those passengers
did not die so peacefully! This type of joke, in which the second half of the
statement is shocking or unexpected (usually making you see the first part of
the statement in a different light), is also called a “paraprosdokian.”
2
Interpretation: This funny quote presents a clever idea that
might possibly work: if you have multiple locks on your door and only lock some
of them, someone who tries to pick the lock and assumes that all the locks are
engaged will not be able to unpick them all (until, that is, they figure out
that not all of the locks were initially locked).
3
Interpretation: Someone who expects bad things to happen (a
pessimist) will expect a negative outcome when they lend you money, which is
that you won’t return the money. Wilde is saying that this make pessimists good
people to borrow money from — because you would never be expected to pay back
the money you owe them! The quote is funny because it pokes fun at pessimists
(in reality, most people expect you to return money they lend you, pessimist or
not) and assumes the reader is a dishonest person who does not want to pay
their debts.
4
The scientific
theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost
airline luggage.- MARK RUSSELL
Interpretation: Most people are aware that the planet Saturn
is surrounded by rings (you may or may not know that these rings are composed
of ice and rocky material). Most people also know that airline luggage often
gets lost. While the rings of Saturn are of course not literally composed of
lost luggage, this quote is humorous because it makes fun of a frustrating
experience many people can relate to — the airline losing your luggage.
5
Friendship is
like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling
that it brings.- ROBERT BLOCH
Interpretation: This joke is of the bathroom humor variety.
While many quotes about friendship are meant to be taken very seriously, this
funny analogy takes a lighthearted (yet not inaccurate!) twist when it compares
friendship to peeing your pants.
6
Interpretation: Here’s a classic “good news, bad news” joke
quote from a master comic. It’s darkly funny because the “good” news is really
pretty terrible, and the bad news is implied: once we hear the good news (that
the patient is going to have a disease named after him), we already know the
bad news (that the patient has a never-bef0re-seen disease). Disease is usually
a serious topic, but tasteful jokes on this subject can be especially funny
because they make us laugh at our fear of death, rendering it less terrifying.
7
Interpretation: Quotes that laugh at the perceived
differences between the genders (or gender stereotypes) are funny to those who
enjoy this kind of humor. The joke here is that men are considered successful
if they make a lot of money, but women don’t need to make money to be
considered successful; they just need to marry a man who makes a lot of money.
8
Interpretation: The joke this quote makes is that elderly
women are often crazy about the game bingo, so much so that an otherwise nice
old lady might utter an obscene word if she loses at bingo. (Plus, most people
find it funny to think of a “sweet little 80-year-old lady” saying the “F”
word.)
9
Interpretation: Taking a metaphor or analogy seriously — in
this case, thinking a motivational statement like “finish what you start”
applies to eating junk food — makes for a classic joke. This quote also makes
fun of the vague and sometimes impractical advice one might receive from a
therapist.
10
Interpretation: People often joke about the haughty, stuck-up
nature of cats. This quote literally means that dogs are obedient to their
owners, while cats think they are the owner, or
master, and that you work for them.
Check back Tomorrow
for the continuation...
1 comments:
LOL!
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